1st Draft Feedback

Mrs Abrahamson:

• The cover works well in minimalist approach
• The contents page is neatly done and has good use of space and text
• The tone and mode of address is plausible
• The models look as if they have a good relationship; the straight man and the funny, bolshie girl
• Dwnld stretched just a tiny bit across
• DPS- need album/download dates and titles to be released etc website? Twitter address etc
• Typo on Franks – no apostrophe in first paragraph. Influxx could be in different font, same as their logo to make it stand out?
• Level 3 (overall)

Mr Ford:

Cover:

• Try a few variations/combinations of barcode, date, price & issue number.

Contents:

• Consider using an image of a different band on the page
• HMV Report 'A bit of a mouthful'
• Fashion section of magazine- Remember that is is a music magazine
• Page no.2- usually atleast page 3 for contents

• Double Page Spread:

• Great images
• Interviewer and photographer credits needed
• Too much space at the top of the right hand side page (above article)
• Pull quotes too long & need postioning in different places
• Maybe try three columns of text
• More text needed in article, however register and tone is good
• Level 3 overall (high)

After taking on board my recent feedback i have decided to change, improve and alter the points above and a few more things. Firstly i would like to take some more images of my models in a different setting i.e a brick wall and maybe dress them slightly differently so i can have a good range of shots to use within my magazine. I would also like to take some images of a different set of models to use on my contents page as a different band feature, this will help 'mix' the content of my magazine up and make it more interesting. I also want to significantly improve the article on the double page spread. Firstly by making it longer and including more quotes, dates and time etc so it will therefore be more informative and accurate. With adding more text to the article i therefore think it will be necessary to put the article into three columns and make the text size smaller. On the left hand side of the page i also want to change the type of font used for 'Influxx' as i dont feel it is quite right. On the cover i would also like to change the pull quote, whether that is by chnaging the font type, size or actual text i am not sure of. Overall i am very happy with how my first draft went, i am pleased with the images i took and the layout of the work i have produced, i feel it is a good start towards producing a successful final piece.